10 New Year’s Resolutions For Everyone But Us

I think we can all agree that 2016 was a shady AF year, so we’re more than happy to throw it out like the trash it was. Obvs there’s much improvement all around for everyone to make and when we say “all around”, we’re talking about everyone but us. Gandhi said, “be the change you want to see in the world,” but really what he meant was that everyone should change to be more like us in the world. So because we’re in the holiday spirit, we’re generously giving out these New Year’s Resolutions for everyone to make. Here’s a list of shit that needs to change this year.

1. Your Facebook Feed

Stop arguing with each other in Facebook comments. Nobody has ever looked up from their phone and suddenly changed their mind about birth control because they saw a GIF of a lion dancing.

2. Your Casual Hookup

Stop being a fuckboy and be upfront about what you want. Trying to figure out what the situation with you is like a customer in a restaurant just says “guess” to the waiter instead of ordering off the menu. We don’t fucking read minds.

3. Your Longterm BF

Treat us like it’s the first day you met us and we’re still not that into you yet. Longterm relationships are comfortable, but you forget that we’re fielding texts from exes and shady friends trying to swoop in all the time. We’ll be loyal but remember that we have options and don’t stop appreciating that we chose you.

4. Your Boss

Give us a raise. Or at least stop setting meetings at 8am. Literally setting us up for failure there. Also, Summer Fridays are back this year, right? Trump can’t take that away from us.

5. Your Mailman

Stop leaving those “we missed you” slips when I’m literally at home. We know you didn’t even try. Also, stop losing our important packages. Santa would never do that.

6. Your Roommate

Set your alarm for a time you can actually wake up at. And maybe give us a warning next time you cook salmon in the house.

7. The MTA (or metro, muni, whatever)

Get your shit together. The L train is like the 30-year-old dude who won’t get off his mom’s couch. Like, it’s time you start working, and not just part-time. Full-time.

8. The News

Stop treating facts like clickbait articles and start reporting on actual news. Not everything has to be as viral as a dancing cat. Sometimes your role in life is to be boring, okay? Be boring, you’re the news. But get it right. We’re sick of reading two separate feeds on our timeline depending on what political side you fall on. News is supposed to be bipartisan.

9. Apple

Give us a better iPhone. We know you have the technology to make the iPhone 10 but you’re just hanging on to it and rationing it out to us. Give us better battery life and a screen that won’t crack. Also, there has got to be a way to look up old texts Timehop style. Get on it.

10. Your Best Friend

If you’re going to get married, at least make sure the groomsmen are hot and single. We’re ride or die, even when we both move into houses and have kids, we’re still going to have wine nights and talk shit about people. Oh also, it better be an open bar with top shelf liquor, none of that wine and beer shit.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/18/10-new-years-resolutions-for-everyone-but-us/

Listen Up Assholes, What You Wear In Your Tinder Photo is Important

Not shocking here, but apparently what you wear in your Tinder photo seems to be even more important than that fake job you claim to have in your bio. (Like, what David, you’re an “Artisan Beer Mixologist Entrepreneur” because you combined Coors Light with lemonade once? Go fuck yourself. Also, was that good or no? Don’t answer that, you troll. Of course it wasn’t.)

Anyway, according to a new Tinder study which tbh sounds like a fucking paradox everyone looks basic as hell in their profile pictures and it’s not doing them any good. 72% of men and 56% of women on Tinder opt for neutral colored clothing (and 100% of the time you have low-key suicidal thoughts while trying to decide which of these boring a-holes makes you want to throw up the least). More unsurprising things: guys get more swipes when they wear suits, and women get more with dresses. Looks like if you don’t conform to gender norms, you’re fucked (i.e. not getting fucked).

So yeah, according to this pointless study, wear gender specific clothing, stay away from colors that reflect the darkness in your heart, and then continue to make snap judgements about each other and potentially get free drinks/your dick sucked at a higher success rate. What a fucking world.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/18/listen-up-assholes-what-you-wear-in-your-tinder-photo-is-important/

North Koreans celebrate ‘Army day’ on Pyongyang’s streets as US submarine lurks in the south

(CNN)North Korea celebrated the 85th anniversary of the founding of its army Tuesday, a significant date in the country’s calendar.

CNN is in the country now and captured some of the holiday activity.

Built in 1974, Mansugyo Soft Drinks restaurant is one of the oldest in Pyongyang. Our minder remembers coming here every Sunday morning with his parents as a child. Obviously, he had a privileged upbringing. Many North Koreans aren't so fortunate.

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 9:16pm PDT

Mansugyo cafe is buzzing with local people enjoying the seven different kinds of beer on offer and making the most of a rare day off.

This popular ‘beer parlour’ was famously visited by President Kim Il Sung and his son Kim Jong Il in 1974.

We are rarely allowed to photograph these, but images of the late North Korean leaders adorn most public spaces in Pyongyang. This photo shows President Kim Il Sung and his son and successor General Kim Jong Il inspecting a restaurant in 1974.

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 9:23pm PDT

The cafe has been around for decades and offers up local delicacies, like dried pollock, washed down with a beer made entirely of rice.

Dried pollock is a popular bar snack in North Korea. This is the Taedongang brewery with seven kinds of draft beer. I'm not a beer expert, but it's good!

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 9:35pm PDT

In the supermarkets, there’s very little choice in what food people can purchase, with only a few local products available. Most shops carry the same cans, and shelves are largely stocked with goods imported from China.

Canned duck soup and canned meat from China for sale in a North Korean supermarket

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 8:37pm PDT

And despite North Korea being a socialist country, while some goods are distributed freely, many are still purchased with cash.

Rare look inside a North Korean supermarket, where many of the products come from China. This market is particularly popular because it was inspected five years ago by North Korea's Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un.

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 8:36pm PDT

On a public holiday, or any other special occasion, Pyongyang’s citizens also celebrate by dancing in the streets wearing formal, colorful clothing.

The 85th anniversary of the Korean People's Army is a public holiday in North Korea, which means a rare day off for Pyongyang citizens. You often see dancing in the streets on holidays like this.

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 7:58pm PDT

Known as Hanbok in South Korea, this form of traditional dress is called Joson Ot in the North.

North Korean women dressed in their finest Joson ot (traditional Korean dress)

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 8:00pm PDT

Adults, especially men, traditionally dress very uniformly in North Korea.

Children, however, can often be seen in colorful clothing — mostly imported from China.

There are signs that some younger people might be trying to modernize their dress, but as a rule, as an adult, there doesn’t seem to be much desire to stand out from the crowd.

You often see children in Pyongyang dressed in bright, colorful clothing, contrasting the more conservative darker outfits worn by many adults

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 7:57pm PDT

Like everywhere in the world, little boys can be seen sporting small guns as toys.

But this is especially true in this militarized nation, where even nurseries are full of toy tanks, missiles and guns, as well as books and stuffed animals.

A North Korean boy brandishes a toy gun as his country celebrates the 85th anniversary of its army

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 7:56pm PDT

There are a number of events and military ceremonies over the course of the day marking the 85th anniversary of the Korean People’s Army, and convoys of military personnel take to the streets, greeted by waving citizens.

It's army day in North Korea. Women wave to a passing military convoy.

A post shared by Will Ripley (@willripleycnn) on Apr 24, 2017 at 10:28pm PDT

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/18/north-koreans-celebrate-army-day-on-pyongyangs-streets-as-us-submarine-lurks-in-the-south/

Drinking Beer From Boobs Is The Latest Internet Craze… Because 2016

Remember the ice bucket challenge? Lovely innocent fun where people would raise money for illnesses, post videos online and make their friends do the same!

Well if you liked that, you’re in luck! A new video trend has started where people get wet and, this time, maybe they’re getting wet for more than just one reason…. if you know what I mean (wink wink).

People are drinking beer out of boobs. That’s it really. It’s been given a mildly catchy handle in #BOOBLUGE and, if you find a willing participent, there’s nothing stopping you!

So far it’s pretty much exclusive to American kids which means people getting drunk on two cans of “light” beer andincessantly whooping but, with time, it might cross the pond… not sure if that would be a good thing.

Have a look at this probably NSFW compilation video and make your mind up

You’ve got to admire the subtlety of the onlookers – you’d had never guessed some girl’s got her knockers out from all of the shouting…

Pfft. What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/18/drinking-beer-from-boobs-is-the-latest-internet-craze-because-2016/

You Can Now Drink The World’s First Beer Brewed Using Artificial Intelligence

Technology continuously makes our lives better in all sorts of ways.

Thanks to the development of things like artificial intelligence, futuristic devices that once only existed in sci-fi movies are now used for a wide range of applications in the real world.Yep, nowadays AI is used for everything from diagnosing diseases and building robotic prosthetic limbs to making our everyday lives easier with a plethora of pocket-sized smart devices.

But did you know that artificial intelligence can also enhance your beer drinking experience?That’s right, the tech-savvy company IntelligentX just created the world’s first beer that uses artificial intelligence in the brewing process.

Thanks to this innovate technology, IntelligentX has managed to make four different types of beer (golden, amber, pale and black) with recipes that correspond to customer feedback acquired by an algorithm.

Now, if you’re wondering how the heck this whole thing works, let me fill you in.Apparently, the system uses a Facebook Messenger bot, which collects customer feedback and passes the data along to human brewers who can tweak the recipes according to information provided.

The beer bottles contain a special code that people can use to connect with the bot, which then asks people to answer a bunch of beer-related questions. Once the answers are obtained, the data is interpreted by an algorithm that learns from the feedback provided by customers.

If that’s not cool enough, this smart software can even be used analyze data obtained over time and spot emerging trends amidst their consumers.

According to IntelligentX’s co-founder, Hew Leith, “The AI is about putting all the customers in the same room as the brewer,” and the company hopes this new boozy application for technology will help the them test customer feedback faster than ever.

If you’re looking to get your hands on some of these smart sips, you can find these bad boys at WeWork and a variety of tech startup events in East London, plus you can order them online from Ubrew.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/17/you-can-now-drink-the-worlds-first-beer-brewed-using-artificial-intelligence/

A Message From Those Of Us Who Love To Drink

Photos from the fall harvest at the White House garden are here and they’re super sweet.

This week, first lady Michelle Obama hosted students from four schools at the White House.

But this was not your average tour of the executive branch. These students got unrestricted access to one of the first lady’s favorite spots: the White House Kitchen Garden.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

The garden is the first built on the White House grounds since Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous Victory Garden during World War II. The garden quickly became a passion project for Mrs. Obama and inspired her Let’s Move campaign to teach kids about staying active and eating fresh fruits and veggies.

With help from the first lady, students pulled peppers, sweet potatoes, pumpkins, and even peanuts from the garden.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

And, this year, for the first time ever, the harvest went high tech.

As part of their new Expeditions Pioneer Program, a team from Google attended to shoot a virtual tour of the White House Kitchen Garden. Which means that, soon, kids from coast to coast can learn more about backyard agriculture and the importance of eating fresh fruits and vegetables thanks to the handy power of the Internet.

A camera captures a 360-view of the garden. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Mrs. Obama gives students the grand tour. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Of course, it wasn’t all work. The students also had time to enjoy the fruits (and vegetables) of their labor.

After a busy harvest, the students sat down to lunch with the first lady. Together, they made a kitchen garden vegetable salad bowl with zesty chicken, quinoa, and farro (it’s a mouthful to say and to eat!) from some of the greens and veggies pulled from the garden.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

I wish I were as excited for anything as Mrs. Obama is for salads. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Students have always played a big role in the White House Kitchen Garden.

The first lady broke ground and planted the garden with students in the spring of 2009, just months after taking up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

The first lady and White House chef Sam Kass at the garden planting in 2009. Photo by The White House.

The White House Kitchen Garden has since expanded to include a wide array of deliciousness, including herbs, lettuce, collard greens, carrots, peas, flowers, and a beehive. Every summer and fall, students lend a hand.

Chefs in the White House frequently prepare meals using crops from the garden and even brew beer with honey from the hive. The Obamas also donate fruits and veggies to Miriam’s Kitchen, which serves people experiencing homelessness in Washington, D.C.

Want to see the garden for yourself? You can!

If you just can’t wait for Google’s virtual walk-through, make plans to see the real thing.

Why should these adorable kids have all the fun? Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Tours of the White House Kitchen Garden are free and available to school and community groups with an interest in gardening or cooking with fruits and vegetables. Groups need to sign up in advance, and due to the number of requests, not every group can be accommodated.

But if you want to see how the first family eats, there’s no better way.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/12/15/photos-from-the-fall-harvest-at-the-white-house-garden-are-here-and-theyre-super-sweet/