8 Kinds Of Farts And The Foods That Make Them

Farts – the unpleasant, and for some reason hilarious, outcome of eating delicious foods.

But have you ever wondered why some of your little fellas are stink-free whilst others are so smelly that they’ve caused arguments bigger than who chooses what to watch next on TV?

Here are eight of the most common you-know-what’s and an explanation as to what causes them…

The Silent But Deadly

Cause: Chewing Gum

It may seem an innocent food, but chomping on chewing gum is actually causing those silent but deadly farts that no one wants to admit to. Chewing gum contains sorbitol, an indigestible sugar, that makes air swoop out of your bottom at a fast, but silent rate.

The Outta’ Nowhere

Cause: Apples, Peaches, Prunes

Sorbitol also sneaks its way into fruits too. One of these fruity wonders may take you, and your loved ones, by surprise but they will mostlybe quiet and not too stinky.

The Musical Toot

Cause: Cereal, Porridge, Bread

Lactose is one of the key ingredients to making big, juicy trumps. Although lactose is mainly in dairy products, it’s also present in most breads and cereals. When it’s combined with fibre and starch, it creates little gas bubbles in your colon – nice – which, you guessed it, produce tiny little toots. Lovely!

The Gone-Off Milk

Cause: Milk, Ice-Cream, Cheese (basically anything delicious)

As discussed, lactose makes you fart. And if you’re going to eat a lot of dairy products, be prepared to do lots of stinky ones. Lactose farts are so pungent, they might even be enough to put you off eating ice-cream. Yes, it is that serious.

The Dutch Oven

Cause: Spicy Curry

Oh,those wild nights out that end up with all 17 of your mates in your local curry house chowing down on the sweetest Korma to the spiciest Vindaloo – good times. But surviving the morning after when you wake up in a haze of your mates’ beer and curry farts is something quite different. Especially when Rogan Josh guzzingly Gazza lets rip and holds you down under the quilt to fully breathe it in. That ladies and gentlemen, is what is called the dutch oven.

The Bean

Cause: Beans (obvs)

“Be a good boy and eat up your beans” said mum. Well how about no, mum, because I don’t want to be the one farting my way through assembly, thanks. Beans – which contain a high amount of fibre and raffinose – are very good for you, but don’t eat them when you need to be in the presence of other people.

The Nuclear Bomb

Cause: Fast Food

Fast food is rammed full of sugars and fats that make your intestines freak out, gurgle and eventually give-up, producing the most disgusting and feral farts known to man. A true explosion, there’s no warning and no telling who is going to make it out alive. Is it worth it for that bit of fried chicken? Yes, of course it is. But spare a thought for your poor body, because something ain’t right when it’s making that kind of stench.

H/T

Would you add any others to the list? Let us know in the comments!

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/11/09/8-kinds-of-farts-and-the-foods-that-make-them/